Okay, maybe not actually dead, but certainly dead relationships. I’m a Buffy nerd so I couldn’t resist (it was the most introspective and psychologically powerful episode in the entire series in my opinion). As I see it, you cannot always bridge the gap created between two individuals, but you can find a way to express the value of the bridge that once was, and reflect on the lessons learned from watching it burn (or setting it aflame). Following on a recent post revolving around how one knows when to try to reconcile, why not just talk out what I always wanted to express to those I am no longer in communication with, be it because we simply don’t talk (they door-slammed me, I door-slammed them, ghosting, traumatic experience) or because the other person is, in fact, dead now. Similar feelings are invoked in both circumstances, and both deserve attention. Loss is loss. Unfinished business is unfinished business.

This first episode is about one of the lovers from the past. My ex was an ISTJ, a beautiful and intellectual man who I met at a time when both of us were struggling to find our place. At least I presume he was an ISTJ at the time. It fits, but given we were both in dark places then (I was running around like an ENFP), he may have been in the grip. But for the purposes of everyone understanding how we worked together, the patterns of an INFJ/ISTJ mixup are quite apt, particularly way down at the bottom. Hell, I broke up with him prematurely before I’d fully processed the feelings involved in the decision, and he door-slammed me without all the facts he holds dear. So it goes sometimes, when in the grip especially.

Have a watch if you’re interested in what I have to say to him in retrospect.

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